Spatial Rift #47

Terms that were used by me and other people in the course of a normal day of studying physics:

-"mounts and shafts"
-"barrier penetrators"
-"purple penis"
-"Tracy's balls"

... who said physics can't be sexy?

*stumbles in blearily*

Oh. Um. Are you all still here? Damn. I'd better entertain you, I guess. So, a duck walks into a bar ... oh, you've heard that one? Uh ...

*starts a little softshoe*

No? Okay. I suppose between a busy semester and running Science In Real Life I have let this fall by the wayside. But never fear, loyal readers! I have been collecting a few things on which I plan to post, ponder, and otherwise pontificate. We can start with a couple of movie related items.

- The Men Who Stare At Goats, a movie that somehow escaped my survey for the Spatial Rift's Semiannual Silver Screen Schedule. I don't know if I'm going to go to special effort to see it in theaters, but it looks great. Let's review the facts: a quirky slice of life movie about a wacky project, including incompetent government officials, starring George Clooney and Jeff Bridges, the latter as a groovy hippie. Can someone do me a favor and call the Coen brothers? Someone has stolen their latest movie and I feel they need to be made aware of this fact. Thank you.

- Zombieland. Fantastic. Amazing. Terrific, wonderful, hilarious, thoughtful, endearing, and dare I say it inspirational. Okay sure, the zombies as modern mass culture metaphor is a little played out, but Zombieland's take on it is nonetheless heartwarming. And I must say it is a relief that the slightly dorky, quiet protagonist in search of love was not played by Michael Cera.

That's all for now. Soon, I will discuss my trip yesterday to Boston Comic Con, with pictures!

Top Ten Awful Jewish Pickup Lines

10. You know, Oy is just Yo backwards.
9. Can I buy you a glass of Manischewitz?
8. I'm not a gentile, but I am gentle.
7. I can keep my oil burning for eight nights, if you know what I mean.
6. Let's just say the mohel missed.
5. I'm a minyan all by myself.
4. I'll be your manna from heaven.
3. Hey baby, wanna come blow my shofar?
2. You'd have to be meshuggeneh to pass over a night with me.
1. My mother's out of the house tonight.

Terrible. Just terrible.

So, this is livejournal entry number one thousand. That's right, I have officially hit the four digit mark. To celebrate this, I bring you a creation inspired by oldstarnewshine: An all Star Trek version of the Discovery Channel song "I Love The World". The opening scenario is Riker and Sisko on Deep Space 9, watching the wormhole open and close.

Riker: "It never gets old, huh?"
Sisko: "Nope."
Riker: "It kinda makes you wanna..."
Sisko: "Break into song?"
Riker: "Yup"
I love the wormholes, I love the clear black sky
I love big bridges, I love supernovae
I love the Universe, and all its sights and sounds
Boom de yada, Boom de yada, Boom de yada, Boom de yada
I love the warp drive, I love the transporters
I love to beam up, I love the tricorders
I love the cool tech, and all its craziness
Boom de yada, Boom de yada, Boom de yada, Boom de yada
I love the Klingons, I love the evil skins
I love the Borg drones, I love the Romulans
I love the Vulcans, they're such a brilliant race
Boom de yada, Boom de yada, Boom de yada, Boom de yada
Boom de yada, Boom de yada, Boom de yada, Boom de yada ...

Top Ten Science Fiction Quotes You Should Never Say During or After Sex

10. That's it man, game over man, game over!
9. Mr. Sulu, lock phasers on target.
8. Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
7. Dodge this.
6. (wookie language)
5. Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!
4. Bring in the logic probe!
3. Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
2. Come with me if you want to live.
1. I canna change the laws of physics! I've got to have thirty minutes.

In the words of Randall Munroe: Why would anybody ever, ever say that? Please, nobody ever say that.

EDIT:

( Sound )

"I see liberalism and conservatism as opposing principles that work well when in balance," [Haidt] says, noting that authority needs to be both upheld (as conservatives insist) and challenged (as liberals maintain). "It's a basic design principle: You get better responsiveness if you have two systems pushing against each other. As individuals, we are very bad at finding the flaws in our own arguments. We all have a distorted perception of reality." (From this article reporting Haidt's extremely insightful model of moral diversity.)

Liberal though I am, I couldn't agree more with this. Thanks to modillian for linking to it.

( The Sun )

Questions and topic ideas are always welcome!

( Cold )

( Oscillations )

So as some of you might have noticed, I've not exactly been on the ball about these Science In Real Life essays lately. No more, I say! For I have verily and with much fanfare, heretofore and henceforth, kicked it up a notch:

www.scienceinreallife.com

BAM! Behold, the official fancypants-type blog is now up and running. Has been for a few days now, in fact. Consider yourself privileged if I gave you advance notice over the weekend.

So, here's the plan. I will continue posting Science In Real Life essays over here, sort of. What I'm going to do is use a very cunning fake-cut system whereby the post will resemble the previous ones but will in fact be a link to the Official Blog Post of Bloggingness. What's more, since I am starting at the beginning, the next two months or so will be repeat essays for those of you who have been following along here. Here's the first one:

( Snow )

I offer the following enticements for you to go ahead and click through to the blog anyway:

-It's been months since most of these were posted, and you might have forgotten some of the best turns of phrase or juiciest metaphors.
-I will be making changes to each essay before I post it, some in the name of improved grammar, some in the name of divorcing it from references to being posted at a particular time, but all in the name of improved clarity and readability. Think of it like the remastered Star Trek TOS episodes - all the same great stuff, plus shiny new effects.
-In addition to the essays, I have introduced a brand spankin' new feature: Science Facts of the Day, posted every day at noon, rain or shine. Bite-sized science morsels to augment your lunch break.

So there you have it. Go forth, and read my blog!

By the way, on day one my blog had 17 views. On day three, 37. That's more than doubling in two days, so by my calculations the entire population of planet Earth will be reading my blog within two months. Resistance is futile.

Having now seen Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I feel the title could perhaps be altered to better reflect the content of the majority of the movie. So here are some suggestions in that regard:
( Cut for vaguely spoil-ish stuff )

"Give you an example, show you what I mean: suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp." - Repo Man

"Eat recycled food. It's good for the planet, and okay for you." - Judge Dredd

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli." - The Godfather

"Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish." - The Matrix

"Try the grey stuff, it's delicious!" - Beauty and the Beast

"I love Italian food, and so do you." - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

"And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C." - Clue

"Or else pizza is gonna send out for you!" - Spaceballs

"That's a big twinkie." - Ghostbusters

"Try the wine. And the apples, one of those next." - Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

Ladies! And! Gentlemen! The winner is ... the one, the only ... dartmouth05! Hip hip, hooray! Your shipments of confetti and ticker tape will be arriving shortly.

Honorable mention goes to roamin_umpire for identifying Star Trek IV as a sappy romantic comedy, especially since the exchange in question is between Kirk and Spock.

EDIT: Another honorable mention goes to elenia's SO for being one of only two four people on the entire planet to have seen Judge Dredd. Well done.

Poll #1426606 It's Alimentary: A Food-based Movie Quote Quiz
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 14

"Give you an example, show you what I mean: suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp."

"Eat recycled food. It's good for the planet, and okay for you."

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

"Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish."

"Try the grey stuff, it's delicious!"

"I love Italian food, and so do you."

"And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C."

"Or else pizza is gonna send out for you!"

"That's a big twinkie."

"Try the wine. And the apples, one of those next."

( Electroacoustics, or how to get sound from electricity )

As always, I welcome your questions and suggested topics.

I just received this email from Tufts:

"The World Health Organization has officially declared an H1N1 pandemic. The pandemic declaration does not indicate that this disease is severe, in fact, it has been relatively mild. Rather, the pandemic designation reflects that H1N1 is a novel strain of influenza that spreads easily from person to person, with increasing and sustained transmission in multiple parts of world. At this point, the illness displays the same degree of severity as seen in the typical seasonal winter flu. It is affecting primarily children and young adults, with the majority of cases seen in people under 25."

Phew, that was close.

It's SpatialRift's Semiannual Silver Screen Schedule: The Sequel!

Moon (Jun 12): Sam Rockwell plays a solitary astronaut on the moon with naught but a computer to keep him company. Insanity ensues. You might say he goes loony.
Public Enemies (Jul 1): Johnny Depp as a bank-robbing gangster, with FBI agent Christian Bale hot on his heels. This has BADASS written all over it in giant block letters that are themselves also badass. Not just any typeface is capable of containing this much badass.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Jul 17): Duh.
District 9 (Aug 14): Peter Jackson's new film about some unwelcome alien visitors. Possible allegory to American foreign policy with 70% chance of balls-out weirdness. Bring a poncho.
Ponyo (Aug 14): The latest movie from Miyazaki, who brought us Mononoke, Spirited Away, and Howl's Moving Castle. Seems to be a version of the Little Mermaid story. Guaranteed to have breathtaking animation, especially since it's mostly set in the ocean.
Inglourious Basterds: A new Tarantino flick, one apparently a long time coming. Who wants to see Brad Pitt kill some Nazis? I do! I do!
9 (Sep 9): Elijah Wood plays a small creature who undertakes a long journey to save the world. With the underdog and a group of unlikely friends fighting against deadly enemies, can evil be defeated? In all seriousness, this is a post-apocalyptic animated movie with a lot of charm and the weight of a Tim Burton producer credit promising some slick visuals.
Surrogates (Sep 25): [announcer voice] In a world where everyone lives through machines, can one man save us all from ourselves? [/announcer voice] Since that man is Bruce Willis, I'm gonna have to go with a big FUCK YES HE CAN.
Zombieland (Oct 9): Irreverence? Check. Woody Harrelson? Check. Zombies? Double check. Seriously, this looks hilarious. I know trailers can lie, but if this movie is even half as good as the trailer suggests it'll be worth it.
Avatar (Dec 18): No, not that Avatar, a sci fi entry by the long absent James Cameron with, word has it, some seriously beefed up animation. As in, uber-3D CGI-mixed-with-live-action levels of beef. This is where the beef is, folks. We finally found it. Sigourney Weaver loves it and says there's a lot of science in it too. Science and beef. You heard it here first.
Sherlock Holmes (Dec 25): Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law in a steampunk extravaganza. Sign me up. Also, it's freaking Sherlock Holmes. You do not need any further incentive to go see this movie.

Special Feature! These movies rank a solid "maybe":

The Boat That Rocked (Aug 28): A little creative history about an illegal rock 'n roll radio station broadcasting from a boat off Britain. Drama will possibly be contrived since there was no actual British sentiment that broadcasting rock music is a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Where the Wild Things Are (Oct 16): Jury's still out on whether a ten sentence book can provide a ninety minute movie. Visuals look great though - it's nice to see that not everything is CGI.
Astro Boy (Oct 23): On the one hand, robot boy with jet boots and laser blasters. On the other, Nicolas Cage.

YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never really clicked, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my f-list, so let me know with whom I'm friends!


1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

This is one of those ideas I have where, as a result of combining things of widely disparate type and origin, I'm probably the only one who will find it funny or entertaining. It's a parody of "One Night in Bangkok" about a certain area in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption.

( One Night In Bangkok )

( One Night In Skytown )

I'm going to break from my tradition of not posting stuff that happens in my own life, which I've had because lately my real life has been interesting to live but not interesting to read about. But recently, something exciting happened. I was returning from a brief visit home to New Jersey when, on the highway, my tire blew out. The tire was old and bald, just like Patrick Stewart, and caused a lot of excitement, just like Patrick Stewart, and has been replaced, just like Patrick Stewart never could be. But the exciting part is what the old tire now looks like. I have pictures. Come get some good old fashioned devastation!

( Devastation this way )

Here, have an icon meme!

1. Reply to this post with 'Icons!', and I will pick five of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon glee.



And now, a lamp. The final frame of a comic strip from Bob The Angry Flower. I have absolutely no recollection of which one, but I do remember it was just as gratuitous there as it is out of context. Used whenever the hell I feel like it.



A shot of Foreman from House, obviously, overlaid with the perennial lament of Kel from Kenan & Kel. He just looks like he's saying it. Credit to _sciocco



A line from Ferngully. Yes, Ferngully. Some of Robin Williams' trademark cracked out humor. Used for when people are being irrepressibly human. Credit to scary_lullabies.



A line from Hitchhiker's, acourse. Used for silliness. Credit to snacky.



SNEAK ATTAAAAACK! Self-explanatory. Credit to whoresque.